Friday, October 14, 2011

A mother's worst fear

I truly believe there is no greater fear of a mother's than for her child to be hurt. My worst fear was brought to life last week when my sweet little girl laid in a hospital bed with an IV in her head and wires all around her body.
What started as a normal early morning suddenly changed so quickly into a day that I will never forget as long as I live. Olivia got up at 3:30 to nurse and ate very well. I then laid her in the bed beside me (thank God) where she seemed to be very restless. She wasn't crying so I just thought she wanted to play. About 5 minutes later she started to throw up. I scooped her up as quick as I could and yelled for Aaron to wake up. She continued to throw up all of what she had just eaten along with a little bile.
I called the doctor as soon as they opened and we immediately went in. Ironically she had already had an appointment for that day (her 2 month check-up.) At first I joked with the doctor that she must have really not wanted her shots... Little did I know that I would have much rather her had the shots then what we later went through.
I nursed her again in the doctor's office so that they could get a urine sample. From that they found out that she had an UTI (urinary tract infection.) I didn't even know it was possible for babies to get those. We finally left 2 hours later and were written a prescription to start immediately. Not even 20 minutes after we left the doctor's office, Olivia threw up again all over herself in her carseat. I panicked and so did Aaron... I called the doctor back and was instructed to give her the medicine and some pedialyte so that she didn't get dehydrated. As you can probably guess, right after the medicine was given, she threw that up as well. We then rushed back to the doctor so that he could give her an injection shot of her antibiotics to stop the throwing up. At this point it was too late because her little body had had enough.
While in the doctor's office she began throwing up yet again and this time is was purely bile. Her skin color began to fade and she just laid there not making a sound. It was then that her doctor looked at me and before the words came out I knew exactly what he was going to say.
I needed to somehow find someone to watch the boys, get Aaron home from Greensboro and get to the hospital QUICK. In a panic state of mind I called Aaron not really able to talk and just told him he needed to get home now. I then began dialing friends numbers to see who could watch my boys. Thankfully I have some amazing friends and an amazing mother in law so that was one less thing I had to worry about. I dropped the boys off at a friends house, grabbed a few things out of my house, and headed straight to the hospital.
Once in the hospital the first thing that was needed was to get Olivia some fluid. Because she was so little and she was so dehydrated they tried to get an in IV in both arms and a leg and all three of those attempts failed. When I tell you that I felt like I was going to puke during this, I am not lying. To see my little girl screaming in such agony and pain and knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it made me feel like the worst mom in the world. At one point I made the nurses stop pricking her body and I scooped her up with tears streaming out of both of our eyes. Thank God my husband was there with me because without him there I would have never made it. After getting her calmed down and myself I knew that the worst had yet to come. Because an IV had yet to be placed correctly, it needed to be done fast. I didn't have much of a choice at that point because it was either let the nurses do what they need to do or my daughter could get worse fast. With little hesitation Aaron and I agreed that the IV needed to go in somehow/somewhere NOW. The only place the nurses could get a vein was in her head. I get chill bumps now writing this because I wanted to take her place. I wanted to be the one in pain, I wanted to be the one getting stuck with needles, I wanted to be the one getting catheterized two times, but more than anything I wanted to be able to take her pain away.
Once the IV was in place she started to perk up. Her color came back, her bright little smile appeared, and things were starting to look up. We went for an ultrasound to make sure her stomach hadn't torn from all of the throwing up she had done. Thank God the results were normal.
We stayed overnight because we had more tests to be run the next day. Not being able to have my baby sleep next to me in my bed was horrible. I tossed and turned all night getting little sleep.
The next day we were sent up for another ultrasound of her kidneys and bladder to make sure there was no swelling. Those results too were normal praise God.
The only conclusion from all of this is that Olivia has what they believe to be reflux of her urethrae which causes urine to shoot back up into the bladder instead of completely emptying out. The downside to this is that she has to have a few more UTI's before they can to the dye test to see if that is truly what it is.
Thankfully we were sent home late that afternoon and my little girl was able to sleep snuggled up to me again.
We aren't out of the woods yet with all of this but thankfully we now know what to do if/when this happens again.
Thank you all who called, texted, prayed, and thought of us during that difficult time. Things could have been a lot worse for us and we are so grateful to God for providing the care that He did while we were there. Many parents who were at the hospital when we were looked more exhausted than me, had been living in the hospital for weeks/months, and some wouldn't be leaving with their little ones. I am so fortunate that we spent just one night there yet I can't imagine anything worse than what we went through. So go give your little ones a big ole kiss right now because you just never know when an ordinary day becomes anything but ordinary...





2 months old!!!

On October 1, 2011 my little girl was 2 months old. I remember the time going fast with Evan, then flying by with Landon, and now I swear it is just zooming by on full speed not leaving me with much time to soak in anything. She isn't as sleepy anymore, her newborn features have somehow diminished, and her newborn sleepers that once swallowed her are now being packed away in a bin labeled "newborn" because her sweet little toes no longer fit them.
I was pulling out some pajamas for her the other night and I stumbled upon two things that made me sad. The first was a premie diaper (yes I have a (unused) diaper saved from each little one.) I remembered how big they once were on her in the hospital and now it seems so far gone. The other thing was her premie pajamas because when she was born even her newborn pajamas were too big so we ventured out to Babies R Us to get her some that fit. I feel like that was just yesterday but somehow it has already been two months ago.
Don't get me wrong. I am loving watching my sweet little girl grow but my heart just aches at knowing how fast the time is going. I wish there was a pause button that allowed me to freeze the time with her but I know that is impossible which leaves me only one choice. Hold her as much as I can, give her as many kisses as I can, and simply enjoy this crazy busy life that I have because I know that I'm going to miss it...

The week before she was born....


3 days old...


1 month old...


2 months old...

Disney World x2!!!!

Well...in mid September the kids(all three) and I set off on a Jetblue airplane and headed to Grammy and PawPaw's house... Yes, I went on a plane by MYSELF with a 4 1/2 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, and a barely 6 week old baby....


To be honest it wasn't bad at all. The hardest part was packing for us and then getting through security with two boys who thought it was hilarious walking through a "tunnel" with no shoes on, getting a baby out of a stroller so it could go through the metal detector, and lugging my breast pump with me on the plane (because heaven forbid I put in under the plane and they lose it....)
The flight was a little less than two hours long and it was a direct flight... Praise God!!!


Once in Florida our 2 weeks were packed with fun things to do...such as Disney on Ice, a ice hockey game, putt-putt, the everglades, Disney World, swimming, Grammy's birthday, the beach, and Grandma Maloney. We were busy to say the least but it was such a great trip. The boys and Olivia were spoiled to pieces, I was spoiled to pieces, and the only thing missing was my hubby... He had to stick around here and do that thing we call WORK, WORK, WORK.... :(
















One GREAT thing that happened on this trip was that out of the 13 nights that we were there little Olivia slept through the night 9 of them....and let me tell you that it felt amazing to wake up in the morning somewhat rested up.. she must have loved the Florida air!!


With Grammy and PawPaw so far away it made it that much harder to leave. The boys were sad, I was sad, and Olivia must have been sad because her "sleeping through the night phase" was gone once we got home.


It does make for a great vacation spot so I see many more Jetblue experiences in our future...with the hubby of course!! So thank you Grammy and PawPaw for such an amazing time!!! See ya soon!!!

A day of blogging......and eating chips n dip!!!

To put it mildly.... I'm way behind on my blog....but to my defense I have been super mom with three little ones under the age of 5 who pretty much demand my (full)attention at all times!!
But today I am on a mission.. My goal is to blog as much as I can so that these precious little memories I have don't fly out the window....and because I am such a busy bee, my nutritional choices haven't been the best... Besides hardly having the time to eat at all, my daily caloric intake usually consists of my coffee (God knows that is a must have these days), caffeine free diet coke, and baked ruffles with french onion dip...because after all, it is convenient to grab a bag of chips because for one there isn't a mess to clean afterwards and two it is pretty much all I have time to grab....and even then the boys seem to get more of them than I do...
So here is to blogging today...
Sorry in advance for the blogging overload that is about to occur!!!